The Lung Biopsy

The days following have blended together, so many things happening so fast.
We wonder what mom wants to do, does she want to fight, should be just stop. What should she do? But we remind ourselves that it is her decision. I being having been through this with my dad and brother just do not want her in pain.
Please no pain, I can't bare it.
   So now we have to do a lung biopsy scheduled for a tuesday morning , 5 am we have to be up by. We need to be there by 6am. So this lung biopsy should be no big deal, they lightly put her out and there she goes. We sit there, Nicole and I, my sister, my best friend, ok now what? You hungry sure we say. Down to the basement for some lunch. No calls, thats cool. We got on the elevator to go up and Nicole says she needs something from Walgreens, ok I will go to the waiting room. My phone starts to ring and its the Doctor looking for us, our cells did not work in the basement. Mom has been admitted in the ER. She is bleeding from her liver. She is uncomfortable, they are flipping her like a pancake. Stay on your tummy they say, but yet the need xray this and xray that. Stop I want to scream, you are hurting her. But I know they are trying to figure out what to do. That was a very rough day. We get her home and she is worn out and tired. Nicole and I are tired but we both need to have a drink and talk and cry. Seems like the tears are everflowing. I still do not want to let go, and I am not, and nor will I. Can't we keep her God? Please I beg. Life without Mom is not going to be easy. I think about the little things...coffee with mom, spanish rice, The German Village, lotto tickets, her homemade pie crust. Mom you have to teach me how to make your crust, we have time don't we? Rhubarb pie, mom I need to know how to make that for Mikey.  We love you mom.